


River at Dawn

by Lalijinx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin still ruined everything, F/M, Gen, Not Beta Read, Obi-Wan has emotions, canon-compliant death of children, no graphic descriptions of death, not a happy fic, so does Padmé
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 23:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12851811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalijinx/pseuds/Lalijinx
Summary: Obi-Wan goes to confront Padme about Anakin's location. Instead, his emotions get the better of him, and everything spills out.





	River at Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> SO I was supposed to be writing a Star Wars fic for NaNoWriMo, but instead I stalled out, got hit in the face with depression, and then got sick, so here, have an unrelated ficlet, that has nothing to do with the story I was writing, but I wrote nonetheless. 
> 
> I also wrote this in the middle of the night and it's now 4am, so please excuse any major typos, and I will fix them later, kay thanks.
> 
> _Slight AU where Obi-Wan is just a little more open about his emotions, and the death of the Jedi younglings hits him hard, and Padme’s denials are just the last straw on a very stressed out camel’s back._

“He killed _children,_ Padmé! Younglings!” Obi-Wan’s eyes glitter with unnamed emotion, and the uncharacteristic outburst stuns Padmé momentarily speechless. Obi-Wan is breathing heavily, the calm, if strained demeanor from moments before disappearing like smoke. 

 

Obi-Wan turns away in a sharp movement, one hand going up to massage the bridge of his nose.

 

Padmé found her words again. “I, it can’t possibly have been Anakin, I - I know him, he wouldn’t…” she trails off again at the glare Obi-Wan shoots her direction, shivers creeping up her spine.

 

“Padmé. It. Was. _Him._ ” Obi-Wan’s voice cracks on the last word, and some small detached part of Padmé is alarmed to realize she’s witnessing the Great Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi splintering apart. She opens her mouth to make another protest, but Obi-Wan cuts her off before she can even begin.

 

“I would not lie about this Padmé. It’s _killing me,_ but I am not lying.” He voice softens at the end, and as if he transferred his anger to her, she lights up in fury.

 

“It’s killing _you?”_ She splutters, shaking. “I _love_ him, and I know he’s hurting, he’s been hurting, and you will only be hurting him more by buying into these - these lies!” She’s shouting by the end, angry tears spilling unchecked down her face. She’s too incensed to care about the mess she’s making of her appearance, especially not when this is so important. This moment, she can feel it in her bones, in her heart, this reaches far beyond an argument in a senatorial sitting room. “You are only going to make it worse! You don’t love him, not like I do, and you cannot see him the way I do! He wouldn’t do this!”

 

Obi-Wan’s face darkens, and Padmé sucks in a breath at the look on his face. “You think I don’t love him?” His voice is quiet, and all the more intense for it’s lack of volume. “You think, that after all this years, after all I have done for him, sacrificed for him, that I don’t care about him?” He lets out a short bark of laughter, and goosebumps raise on her neck. 

 

“I would do _anything_ for that boy. Do you understand, Padmé?” His stormy eyes bore into he and Padmé can’t break the chilling gaze. “I would do _anything_ for Anakin. Did you know I knew, about you two? I knew, and I did nothing to stop you, because it made him happy. I would have _left the Order_ for him.” His voice is still quiet and intense, Padmé can’t seem to draw a breath, the implications spinning in her mind, refusing the make sense, because nothing about this day makes any sense. 

 

“I can forgive a lot, Padmé. I _have_ forgiven a lot. But this.” For the first time he breaks the stare, and takes a shuddering breath. “But this I cannot forgive. Children, Padmé. He killed them.”

 

“Maybe, it was someone else, they were training to be Jedi, there were troopers there,” Her protests are flimsy, but she can’t bare to believe anything else. “It - it could have been someone else-” 

 

“It was _Anakin_!” Obi-Wan yells.

 

“How do you know?! What makes you so gods damned _certain_!?” Padmé screams back, unwilling to admit how Obi-Wan’s devastated certainty is steadily chipping away at her faith. 

 

“ _Because I saw it!_ ” Obi-Wan roars, “I saw the security holovid, I saw Anakin, no mistaking it was _Anakin himself,_ cutting down everyone in his path. I saw him _slaughter_ the younglings. Children that _asked him for help.”_ His voice is like daggers, and Padmé feels every stab in her heart, “I saw their bodies Padmé. They died by a lightsaber. All of them. Every. Single. One.” Obi-Wan’s voice cracks again, and Padmé finally notices the tears falling unchecked down his face, there even when it seemed he had been entrenched in anger.

 

“They asked him for help. And he killed them.” He whispers it this time, as though he cannot bear to repeat the words again, as if the words themselves bring physical pain. 

 

Padmé is gasping for breath, and she feels the last of her precarious faith crumble away. The sobs she has been holding back all night break through and she finds herself sinking to the couch as she cries. She thought that everything she had was built on stable ground, but everything has shifted and crumbled, the foundation cracked and collapsing, and she has nothing left. The galaxy has been ravaged by war. The republic is in shambles. Her marriage is a farce, and her husband, her dear, sweet Ani… He’s become something unrecognizable, gone down a path she cannot follow. 

 

Padmé startles when she feels Obi-Wan sit down next to her on the couch, though he doesn’t turn to look at her. Instead his blank stare is pointed out the window, inexorably drawn to the wreckage of the Jedi Temple. The tears glitter on his face in the low light, and something in Padmé finally clicks. She knows now, that Obi-Wan loves Anakin just as much as she does, even with all the Jedi rules on attachment. Obi-Wan is just as compromised. Just like her. His world has shattered and burned to ash just as surely as hers had done, though she had at first been too blinded by faith and denial to see it.

 

“Yoda has sent me after Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s choked voice breaks the unsettled silence, and Padmé startles again. He still doesn’t look at her. “Master Yoda will take on the Sith Master. And he wants me to stop Anakin.”

 

“Padmé,” He turns to her, and the agony on his face resonates in her chest. “I will not kill Anakin,” His eyes search her tearstained face. “Even, even after everything, I cannot kill him.” He sounds defeated, and desperate. Padmé stares back, but no words come to mind. There is nothing she can say to fix this. He turns away again, and she’s unsure if he saw what he was looking for in her face. If he even knew what he was looking for in her.

 

“I loved him.” Obi-Wan’s voice is barely audible. “Even after everything… I still love him.” He looks out again towards the smoking ruin of the Temple. Padmé stares as well, smoke still billowing up into the twilight skies.  

 

“Somehow,” She pauses, her voice raspy from crying. She clears her throat, and tries again. “Somehow, I think I do too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Partly inspired by a line in Wild Space by Karen Miller, where Padme thinks something along the lines that Obi-Wan couldn't possibly love Anakin like she does, that her love will save him. Which, obviously, we all know how that worked out.


End file.
